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Coffee, Religious Studies Homework, and Not Much About Rowing

My commitment to drinking good coffee using a v60 filter can be testing due to the time it takes to make a cup of Joe. The taste is worth it in my opinion and I find great value in the process. It’s an opportunity for a break in what you are doing and to think about something else. The downside however, as I found out visiting my in-laws last week, is that if multiple people want to try the coffee at once, it takes an age to churn them out before even focussing on my own. Not that I mind that – I’m always happy to share and be an advocate of good coffee.

 

It was on one occasion during my visit, when I was making a cup before starting my work day, that I happened to have an engaging conversation with my father-in-law, Nick. After I informed him of my early get up time for that day, we discussed my morning routine and the value of THE ROW, to my daily well-being. It was pleasant to be able to discuss the fact my early mornings are to enable me to write before any adulteration of my clear mind and thinking, through the working day. Whilst a relatively short conversation, it got ‘deep’ in a sense on a concluding point from myself. On why I do this. Perhaps that’s just a reflection of where I have been, or where I am more precisely, in regards to this change of me through this routine more than anything else, but it struck me as something that was worth sharing.

 

I told a story from about five years ago that has stuck with me and played an important part in my thinking over the last six months. I visited my Dad’s one day and my little brother, Max, had homework for his Religious Studies class. His task was to ask family members what they thought ‘the meaning of life’ was. Now that’s deep over a Sunday morning coffee without any notice! I took a little time to think. I don’t exactly recall my answer. I think it was along the lines of, ‘there isn’t one really. If anything, the purpose of life is in the pursuit of wanting to know what it is’. Perhaps a bit of a copout answer but looking back, it clearly shows a snapshot of my mental being at the time. I didn’t know. Perhaps I wanted to know. Perhaps I knew that there is no distinct answer. Perhaps I was a little lost without knowing it. Who knows?

 

Much like the advertisements on my phone (‘they MUST be listening to us!’), often you notice things in the world once you discuss or read about them. They become top of mind and you are noticing them more compared to if you didn’t have that conversation. This happened to me after the conversation with Nick. Rather than the ‘meaning of life’ stuff, but more so, conversations on purpose. More specifically, I saw a clip of IDLES frontman Joe Talbot on one of my mindless scrolls through Instagram. It was an interview with NME, where he was talking about artists he met still having a purpose, despite achieving success and status in their careers. He admired that they had a purpose each day regardless of everything else – primarily to make music. Naturally, I thought it odd that this came up at a time when I had a conversation in regards to this only a matter of days before.

 

Another clip that was timely considering my thoughts on THE ROW at the point of its inception, was a clip of Rick Rubin, the much acclaimed music producer. He was discussing art v commerce. His main point being that he doesn’t consider the end audience in whatever it is he is creating, arguing the point that if you do, you compromise your artistic vision, and this becomes commerce. Furthermore, he described ‘creating’ as a diary entry of your mind set for each day – a reflection of who you are at that very point. Even though I saw this months after my own conclusions, it was almost like he read my mind. As, before commencing THE ROW and nailing my daily routine, I thought again on Max’s homework assignment. With lots of shit thrown my way over the last two years, it provided different perspective. What is my purpose?

 

The key revelation for me was shifting the phrasing. Rather than what is the purpose of life, I decided to think of it more as what is a purpose in life. I then came to the conclusion that it is a personal thing, not a one size fits all, raison d'etre, for humanity as a whole (despite religion suggesting otherwise). What could I work with that would help with providing a purpose in my life that works for me. Therefore, I concluded that my personal meaning and purpose in life is the following:

 

A daily expression of oneself through a creative endeavour.

 

I see you Rick. I see you and I get it.

 

This helps satisfy my creative itch. It speaks to my identity. It is true to me, as it is personal. It enables my voice. All these elements of the human condition, wrapped up nicely in one action, with a consistent timeframe. It was nail-on-the-head stuff to help me craft how I want to live on a daily basis. Now, this is very much a point in time. I’m conscious that my needs and desires will change with time, and that’s part of the beauty of having a purpose, rather than working towards just one that’s binary in nature. It can change according to what I need it to do. Something I wish was communicated in stories far and wide, rather than the opposing sides of ‘do what you love’, and ‘you have to work hard and grind, to enable yourself to survive’. Quite simply, there has to be a middle ground.

 

I would happily follow my purpose and not have to work. There’s no two ways about that. For most, that’s simply not realistic. Therefore, looking at it from this new perspective, achieving a workable balance is key. I can craft the time to do the creative things to express myself on a daily basis but also respect that I have to work to earn and survive in life. We’re only ever told the extremes which can be damaging. Our personal media, content, and art consumption often tells us we have to live our lives as they are too short, but we operate in a world that tempers that and requires modesty and discipline to survive. There’s an equilibrium in which we can operate to help provide fulfilment both in personal and professional ways. This ‘purpose’ helps me find that. I’m not prioritising it over my professional career and vice-versa. I would if I could afford to but of course, I am yet to win the lottery.

 

I appreciate this post is perhaps a bit wishy-washy for some and has a distinct lack of rowing involved. My ambition is that this blog is also one to consider mental health and how to operate. I’m merely telling my story and how I got to this point. Throwing in exercise into everything I’ve already mentioned is the equation that created THE ROW. It’s more than raising money and getting some kilometres in.


My mornings look very different than they did in my twenties: I’ve planned a novel, already rowed over 200km in this challenge, and read thousands of words. I feel good for it. I’m also not beating myself up if I miss any elements on a daily basis. But keeping the discipline and committing, has meant that I’ve made incredible progress on all these things in a matter of two months, compared to previously getting nowhere by only talking about these things. I’m not here to build a legacy for when I’m gone – I’m more interested in achieving things with my newly defined purpose. It might not work for everyone but, doubling down on that point of this being personal, it really does for me.

 

I enjoyed reading this quote when considering the topic of this blog:

 

“The purpose of life is not to be happy—but to matter, to be productive, to be useful, to have it make some difference that you lived at all.”

Leo Rosten

 

With all that considered, I look forward to each new day now with added energy. Back to the rower seat in the morning. Obviously after a coffee.

 

P.S. Mum, I hope you are happy that there is not as much swearing in this blog post.

 

Apologies, I don’t have a copy of Max’s homework…

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